Imam Laiq Ahmed Atif | Read this article in Maltese

The subject of family is not only important but has become crucial in the contemporary times, the situation of family has worsened in many countries, and there are serious concerns about it, and it seems that there is a complete breakdown of the family structure, relatively the situation in Malta is better comparing to other western societies, however, we are not immune to this social fragmentation.

Therefore, it is ‘the call of the hour’, that we learn the modes, means and ways to strengthen our families and put them into practice very strictly. The fact is that the strong and healthy families are the backbone of a society, and a strong society is the backbone of a vibrant nation, and indeed, vibrant nations are the backbone of a peaceful and prosperous world. Islam has given great importance to this subject and deals it with profound significance; and has set golden rules to make our homes an abode of peace, love and affection.

Two aspects of good parenting

Islam discusses the subject of happy parenting with two different aspects; firstly, how to become good husband and wife, and good parents and secondly, how to give proper upbringing to the children. Islam looks upon these both aspects in a very realistic, profound and spiritual manner. The verses that are recited at the time of announcement of an Islamic marriage ceremony, in a nutshell, shed abundant light on both of these aspects. Almighty God says in the Holy Quran:

O ye who believe; Fear your Lord, and say the complete truth. (If you do so, in return) He will reform your conduct and forgive your sins. And whoso obeys God and His Messenger shall surely attain a mighty success… O ye who believe, be mindful of your duty to Allah, and let everyone look to that which they send forth for tomorrow.

These verses draw our attention towards self reformation, attaining the highest moral and spiritual standards, setting valuable examples and being closer to the Creator, because that will pave the way to ‘attain a mighty success’, meaning a successful and happy family life.

Pious and righteous progeny

The words ‘let everyone look to that which they send forth for tomorrow’, clearly draw our attention towards a proper and worthy upbringing of the future generation: to raise them piously, to raise them with the highest morals, to raise them with a firm resolve in their faith, to raise them as loyal citizens and to make them excel in every aspect of life. This will not only adorn their lives in this world and their lives in the hereafter and earn the pleasure of God Almighty, but it will also make us deserving of reward owing to the good upbringing we provided them. The Holy Quran also teaches us a prayer: “Our Lord make my seed righteous for me” (46:16). How rightly it is said that: ‘you reap what you sow’.

The essence and significance of the above is that, if we really want to prosper, live better, peaceful and satisfied lives, and moreover, if we want our coming generations to be morally, ethically, spiritually, academically, financially and socially strong and immune from the social harms, then we must build strong, vibrant and healthy families.

The Question is: How to make our families stronger and happier for better parenting and proper upbringing of future generations? What are the means and remedies one can apply to achieve this paramount objective?

In this brief time available, I would like to underline some basic and key principles that if adhered to sincerely and faithfully, the above objective of an utmost value will become smooth; and I am certain that, it will be truly helpful to give a valuable meaning to our dreams of making our homes an abode of peace, love, respect and compassion.

First and foremost important point is regular prayers and to have close relationship with the Almighty God. Both husband and wife should always strive to abide by righteousness, and pray for the relationship to grow stronger and have regard for the respective relatives. When couples establish a relationship with God, their every action will be blessed and rewarded, as the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, once said that: “a man who puts a morsel, a piece of food into his wife’s mouth with a desire to earn merit in the sight of God, does a noble deed and it will bring its reward.”

Second: Husband and wife as life partners have great responsibilities and obligations. Both of them must have a great concern and feelings of love and compassion for each other. Their sentiments and emotions must reflect love and sympathy for each other. The Holy Quran has given an excellent example of husband and wife in the following verse, “Wives are a garment for their husbands, and husbands are a garment for their wives.” (2:188)

Meaning that, both should protect each other, both should become a means of care and affection for each other, and both should cover the weaknesses and shortcomings of each other; and they become as one, as the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said: ‘You will find believers as one body as regards their shared lifestyle, love and affection. When any one limb or part of the body is not well, the rest of the body suffers with sleeplessness and fever.’

Therefore, both the husband and wife should always look on the positive aspects of each other, instead of each other’s shortcomings. In this regard, we have been instructed by the Founder of Islam, that if you see a flaw in the other or dislike a habit of theirs, there would be many things about them that you may like and admire. These favourable aspects should be kept in view to selflessly create a harmonious air and environment of conciliation.

Third: It is also of a paramount importance that the husband and wife always spare time for each other, where they can freely and respectfully talk to each other. If anything crops up, both husband and wife should clear it up immediately by talking to each other lovingly and affectionately.

Fourth: “Adorn yours and your children’s future in this world and in the hereafter.” These are the beautiful words of the Head of the Ahmadiyya Muslim community as a guiding principle for the parents; and when husband and wife have adorned themselves properly then they would become wonderful role models for their children.

Fifth: To make the family life healthy, prosperous and to add in it the sweet-flavour of happiness it is highly recommended that the parents must spend their valuable and quality time with their children and establish effective communication between all family members. In addition, children should be provided serene and understandable open platform to discuss their matters freely with their parents. Home environment should always demonstrate the core values of faithfulness, kindness, unconditional love and respect.

I would like to conclude with the words of the Founder of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community who has explained this subject in a nutshell and says: “Become pious and righteous yourselves and become an example of piety and righteousness for your children.” May God Almighty enable everyone to live in a way that their actions become a source of God’s pleasure and they inherit paradise in both worlds. Ameen.